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  • Vanessa Clark

Wasted Waiting



The 20-dollar bill is the most counterfeited bill in the US and there’s about 70 million fake dollars that are in circulation right now. With the invention of the counterfeit pen it was easier to mark the bills and separate the lies from the truth. When a single person is waiting on the marriage of their dreams it’s easy to settle for a counterfeit person out of frustration. No one likes to feel overwhelmed by loneliness, left out of activities that are better fit for couples, or endure mountains of time without companionship. It’s awful! Instead of waiting for that perfect someone in an unhealthy anticipation and being productive in the kingdom of God, we waste our waiting. Kingdom singles know how to live for God even when the waiting for marriage gets rough.



It is ingrained into the fabric of our lives that marriage is the ultimate goal. Marriage is the oasis at the end of a rat race of desperate singles, it’s the justified reward for the scorned single who always sat at the bad table during weddings. We have been taught that marriage is the answer to our singleness but the truth is that Christ is the answer to our singleness and marriage is just a continuation of that relationship. Our significance in the kingdom of God does not derive from our marital status and neither does our wholeness. Being completed by another person is a farce perpetuated by the movies, the goal is to be complete in Christ, then, and only then will you have anything to offer another Kingdom single.


The phrase “ball and chain” is often spoken in jest but it gives insight on what marriage

means to singleness. It means that you are no longer free to live a life of your own, every decision you make must be submitted to your spouse. The language of singleness is independent and carefree while the language of marriage is submission and compromise. Paul advised his single brothers and sisters to STAY SINGLE if they wanted to continue to serve God without distraction (1 Corinthians 7:35). That may sound harsh but it’s true, your spouse becomes an added full time responsibility that disrupts the freedom you had to serve God all on your own. “Ball and chain” may be a comical reference but the weighted accountability you’ll have for your spouse is a serious thing.


Singleness is an advantage, a true follower of Christ knows this, so filling in precious time with looking for a mate and dating all the wrong ones is a waste. Two people cannot get on the same plane and expect it to go into two different directions, there is one flight plan and every passenger agrees to the final destination. “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (1 Corinthians 6:14) Just as the counterfeit pen marks the bills to uncover the fake ones the Holy Spirit will mark the people you think are potential mates and expose the ones who will rob you of your time with God. Another way to reveal a fake bill is by holding it up to a light which is what the Word of God is for. Don’t waste your waiting! The closer you walk with God as a Kingdom single the easier it will be to avoid counterfeit mates who will waste your time or, even more frightening, have you settle for less than God’s best.



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