The popular phrase, “I brought you into this world and I’d take you out!” has been replaced with, “Oh, it’s ok, my children just need some space.” My how times have changed. Neither phrase used by parents are good, one of them threatens and provokes and the other relinquishes power from parent to child. Where’s the happy middle? In the Word of God. The Bible is clear about how Kingdom Children should live their lives and equally important how Kingdom Parents should raise them. We all freak out when our babies get here, hoping for a manual that will tell us what to do, but if we look closely, we’ll see that the Word of God is the best guide. When the gap between generations is so vast, how can parents and children reach each other in a dark world?
We don’t choose our parents; we don’t get to choose the gatekeepers of our destiny.
That’s who parents are, they serve as the authority and love of God in our lives in order to assure that we are trained up in His will (Proverbs 22:6). Parents aren’t perfect and they’re being shaped and molded by God just as they try to mold their children. There’s a lack of grace children have for their parents these days. The expectation of friendship and understanding from their parents has undermined the order of the family. Can children and parents be friends? No! It’s ok to be friendly but children must recognize the authority and order that they’re under for the relationship to work.
Parents don’t get to choose which destiny they must shape in their children. God blesses parents with the honor of cultivating the gifts and callings in children’s lives, but parents also have to stay close enough to the cross to know who they have given birth to. We see it often, the generational traditions that destroy lives and families. The doctor who was raised by a doctor who is now raising his/her children to be doctors and even without their consent. Children are NOT ours to control they are borrowed gifts, entrusted to us to fulfill the will of God, not our own. That child forced to go to medical school is then shunned by his own parents for becoming an artist, for following his destiny. Families are torn apart when parents cannot discern who they’re children are called to be.
The family design is a divine one, it’s the first official holy institution of God. Order is imperative. Submission is crucial. When children walk around as adults it taints the design of God. When children disrespect their parents it’s a rebellion of the worst kind (Proverbs 22:15). Many parents have left the responsibility of raising their children to the world and then wonder why they behave so terribly. Children, like everyone else, are born into sin and parents hold the key to their freedom. Parents must be the love and authority over their children so that when confronted with a sinful world they are encouraged to change it, not feel right at home.
Honoring our mother and father comes with a promise (Ephesians 6:2) and raising children the way God intended comes with honor. When this relationship is established through the Word of God joy and peace are its fruit. Times are changing, children are growing up faster than ever before, but it’s the assurance of the promises of God through His word that bind children to their parents. Parents, equip yourselves with the understanding of who you have been called to raise. Children, the greatest resource to the promises of God for you are in the hands of your parents. Give honor and reap the rewards, this will bridge the gap that divides us.